Growing up nowadays, parents work so hard to make sure we socialize. It’s so important that our kids have “play dates” and say, “Hi!” and be ultimately “friendly”.
As a child I remember being surrounded by my group of friends, and as I began to grow I remember everything changing from having fun with friends to making sure I was fun enough for my friends. I wanted to make sure I was liked and be sure what I did and who I was was liked.
I distinctly recall a turning point in my life. On my 22nd birthday I remember inviting some of my closest girls to come celebrate with me. Unfortunately it didn’t happen as I expected. It ended up being me, my best friend and my husband. at that point I felt so hurt and so sad. but not the princess-pity-party-nobody-came-to-my party-sad. more like: the-end-of-sandlot-all-the-kids-grew-up-and-didn’t-see-eachother-anymore-heartbreaking-end-to-a-movie-sad. (which my husband always tells me is not a sad ending) but for me it was a tear-jerker. Nothing terrified me more than losing my friends, but even bigger than that nothing terrified me more than being alone.
The best thing that came out of me losing friends was finding the people who were going to really spend my life with me. My husband, because he made a vow and he has no choice, ha!, and my best friend. She has been with me through so much, from heartbreaks to watching me give birth to her Goddaughter. She became my family.
Which brings me to my family. My sister has seen every part of me and we are extra close since we share a family of in-laws and our kids are basically cousins to second power. She loves me more than any friend could and she literally helped me grow. (even if she denied me the “good” bread when she made me pb&j haha!)
However, I can honestly say that nobody will love you, or push you, or encourage you to chase your dreams more than your parents will. I know my parents do. At some point in your life you may choose your friends over your parents, but remember that when your friends move on and grow up and move away your parents will always be there. And although they might be there with an occasional, “I told you so” they will also be there with a ” I knew you had it in you.”
So, the truth about losing friends: It’s like a heartbreak. You’re literally ending a relationship.The real truth is, yes it hurts, it’s painful and messy, and it sucks. You may talk occasionally but things will never be the same. I wish I could have the relationships with my friends like I did before but things really do change, in my case my time is consumed with wanting the best for my daughter, making my husband happy, and being here for my family.
My life feels pretty full and complete even with the loss of some people of my life.
and if I ever do decide to venture into the world of finding friends I will let you know but finding new friends is scary and almost feels like getting back into the dating world.
Female, 25 years old, seeking female to be friends with. Must like art, music, nerdy stuff, must get my jokes, lifestyle, must share same values and having children is a big plus.
phew. yeah. It’s scary mess.